tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32049802012-01-09T10:43:35.602-08:00Keep It LevelA simple instruction becomes a major philosophyMr. Clemnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1341100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1120719367091806762005-07-06T23:55:00.000-07:002005-07-06T23:56:07.096-07:00Really?Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com67tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1113358446748312392005-04-12T19:07:00.000-07:002005-04-12T19:16:47.143-07:00"How can I possibly cater to your needs so that youend up having to be responsible for absolutelynothing?"Blank stare by student"What can I do to make sure that you don't have to doany work?"Blank stare by student, but eyes widen showing somelife"I'm sorry. It seems that my questions haveinadvertantly caused you to actually have to dosomething."Student blinks"Of course you won't answer the Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1104200718073417612004-12-27T18:22:00.000-08:002004-12-27T18:25:18.073-08:00"Prohibition was a really hard time, not just for my family, but for everybody who loved beer." Really? And this whole illegal prostitution racket that most state governments have going is really hard for everybody who loves to pay for sex. And don't even get those addicted drug addicts started on how hard the drug laws are on them.
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1100822137918253872004-11-18T15:55:00.000-08:002005-01-16T19:45:42.896-08:00Maybe I should stop complaining.
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?
tmpl=story&cid=817&e=1&u=/ap/bill_gates_spam
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1100096589831620372004-11-10T06:17:00.000-08:002004-11-10T06:23:09.830-08:00Not sure what it is about nitrous oxide that makes me not care what sort of sharpened metal object is being thrust into my gums, but extremely worried about the next line of lyrics in Whitney Houston's Greatest Love of All...but I like it...the nitroous, not the sharepend metal object...and certainly not the song.
Another dental musing, if you will...how many of you loyal readers floss your Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1099971831256620392004-11-08T19:40:00.000-08:002004-11-08T19:49:10.300-08:00You know the Halloween candy "Fun Size" bars? To me that's a blatant lie. My philosophy of "Fun Size" candy is that bigger is better. You give me a Snickers bar that is 10 feet long, 3 feet high and 5 feet wide...then we're talking fun.
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1098576058977686772004-10-23T17:00:00.000-07:002004-10-23T17:00:58.976-07:00I am my own kryptonite.
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1097381618658737192004-10-09T21:09:00.000-07:002004-10-09T21:13:38.656-07:00Why does the woman, who speeds to the closest parking spot at the gym, wear a half shirt if all she ends up doing is pulling it down to cover uncovered parts?
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1097252513270907372004-10-08T09:20:00.000-07:002004-10-08T09:21:53.270-07:00The guy who rides his aluminum bike around school campus every morning collecting bottles and cans to recycle...why doesn't he recycle his bike?
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1096512001952856942004-09-29T19:38:00.000-07:002004-09-29T19:40:01.953-07:00Coors Light - The Silver Bullet
or
Coors Light - La Bala de Plata
as the can says
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1096409608576712372004-09-28T15:12:00.000-07:002004-09-28T15:13:28.576-07:00No motorized vehicles are available for use from the Clems. Sorry.
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1095880063458424492004-09-22T13:07:00.000-07:002004-09-22T12:07:43.456-07:00Clems have NO cars available for loan.
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1092866533177195252004-08-18T14:54:00.002-07:002004-08-18T15:02:13.246-07:00In my "Bulk" mailbox:
Sender Subject Date Size
SPAM Sucks Have your name added to the anti-spam list! Wed 08/18 2k
I'm torn as to what to do. I seriously dislike the amount of spam and bulk e mail received. But if I were to do this I would never receive things like this.
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1092866500448441712004-08-18T14:54:00.001-07:002004-08-18T15:01:40.460-07:00In my "Bulk" mailbox:
Sender Subject Date Size
SPAM Sucks Have your name added to the anti-spam list! Wed 08/18 2k
I'm torn as to what to do. I seriously dislike the amount of spam and bulk e mail received. But if I were to do this I would never receive things like this.
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1092426429071718302004-08-13T12:46:00.000-07:002004-08-13T12:47:09.070-07:00Sometimes it feels more like a blahg.
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1089737437734312082004-07-13T09:48:00.000-07:002004-07-13T09:50:37.736-07:00Addie yesterday at the car wash, "Mom, why are all the workers brown?"
Addie at the Padres game last week, "Do you smell that yucky stinky smoke smell? Who smells like that bad?"
The lady standing next to me, "That would be me."
I merely shrug my shoulders.Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1089651675303650812004-07-12T09:59:00.000-07:002004-07-12T10:01:15.303-07:00Keep your comments to yourself Hansen...
Wine Country Half Marathon 7/11 13.2 in 2:09:53Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1089437049244048932004-07-09T22:19:00.000-07:002004-07-09T22:24:09.243-07:00The offensively bright yellow and orange muu muu clad woman who walks into McDonalds at 8:30 this morning and orders three Big Breakfasts and a Super Size Diet Coke, between bites of her ice cream cone, and then proceeds to down all of it before 8:50...what about her?Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1087922271386993172004-06-22T09:25:00.000-07:002004-06-22T09:37:51.386-07:00#6200 OSH $100 Materials
#6201 Dr. Huddleston $35 Chiropractic Adjustment
#6202 Albertsons $67 Necessity groceries (and some not so necessary)
#6203 Suzanne Clem $500 "Services" rendered (don't ask Hansen)
#6205 Dr. Morgese $20 Bailey's co-pay
Notice anything missing? Yah, me too.
I used to have the "double checks", but I don't anymore. Would be Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1087830795195811002004-06-21T08:11:00.000-07:002004-06-21T15:20:39.660-07:009.2 in 1:30:11 (Trower - Solano - Orchard - DC - Rdwd - Trancas - Jefferson - El Centro - ByWay East - Trower)
Will post milage after driving itMr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1087743511670031482004-06-20T07:55:00.000-07:002004-06-20T08:02:29.893-07:006/17 3.1 in 25:35
_____________________
In the course of 6/17 I biked 11.5 miles and ran 3.1...thats 2/3 of the sprint triathlon distances. Does my five minute shower count as the 400 yard swim?Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1087519059533739272004-06-17T17:37:00.000-07:002004-06-17T17:37:39.533-07:00No it's not just a running log now.Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1087401617124844622004-06-16T08:57:00.000-07:002004-06-16T09:04:41.516-07:006/15 3.0 in 27:28 and new shoes (Trower - DC - Rdwd - Solano - Trancas)
________
As it turns out, watching Lindie is SO easy...a bag of Cheetos, Nickelodeon, and notice the posting time of this blog.
________
Events I'm shooting for:
Wine Country Half
Pleasanton Tri for FunMr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1087226109991386152004-06-14T08:13:00.000-07:002004-06-14T08:15:09.990-07:00It's been so long since I've run (bad back) that I don't remember the format for posting distance and time.
1.9 in 17:53
Back feels pretty good...will update later in the day (8:14 AM) Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1086313473490784152004-06-03T18:43:00.000-07:002004-06-04T19:46:44.400-07:006/1 4.0 in 37:38 (Old Sonoma - Thompson - BV - Foothill - Laurel - OS)
_______
Today's was 4.4 in 42:06 (Linda Vista - Dry Creek - Redwood - Dover - Wales - Oxford - Trancas)Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1086017969709461802004-05-31T08:31:00.000-07:002004-05-31T08:39:29.710-07:005/27 ?.? in 18:54
5/30 3.1 in 32:04
_____________________
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1085693779565307592004-05-27T14:23:00.000-07:002004-05-27T14:39:28.970-07:00I look around at other people who have chosen teaching as a profession and am left to wonder why did they chose it?
For example, one of the computer skills teachers who has taught for many years just seems to really hate students. Why subject yourself to that which you hate on a daily basis? She started the countdown of days, hours, and minutes somewhere at the end of March I think.
Another Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1085544907858972592004-05-25T21:13:00.000-07:002004-05-25T21:15:07.856-07:00?.? in 27:35
____________
It's amazing how a computer problem can send the entire day into a huge tailspin...a huge frustrating tailspin.Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1085446468490172942004-05-24T17:44:00.000-07:002004-05-24T17:54:28.490-07:00Taco Bell. Some people order those exquisite menu offerings such as: Taco Supreme, Soft Taco Supreme, Double Decker Taco Supreme, Burrito Supreme, Gordito Supreme, Chalupa Supreme, Nachos Supreme, and Nachos BellGrande (just to show that "Supreme" does NOT equal exquisite). Not me though, I'm more of a Bean Burrito with no onions type of guy. Hard core. No fancy crap for me. And since when did Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1085146192162160802004-05-21T06:26:00.000-07:002004-05-21T06:29:52.163-07:00Bay to Breakers results are in and I finished 11,110 out of 70,000+ "runners". Of course I was only 55:10 behind the winner who was some Kenyan guy. Thanks a lot mom and dad for slowing me down with my nationality.Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-108479866128805332004-05-17T05:56:00.000-07:002004-05-17T06:00:15.090-07:00Bay to Breakers 2004 time was 1:20:05...and only saw one nude person.
Next goal...the inagural WINE COUNTRY HALF MARATHON on July 11, 2004.Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1084453890167035572004-05-13T05:57:00.000-07:002004-05-24T13:49:12.523-07:00Started running back in March. Didn't start keeping times and distances until March 29. In the beginning Brian and I would ride our bikes down to Redwood's track and run two to four laps and feel like we had just finished the Boston Marathon. Since then its surprisingly come a long way. We set a goal of running the Bay to Breakers which happens to be this Sunday. I think we're ready for it...Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1084424702710627752004-05-12T22:04:00.000-07:002004-05-12T22:05:02.710-07:00How to update your blog without blogging...choose a new template.Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1083721066441824622004-05-04T18:37:00.000-07:002004-05-04T18:40:57.700-07:00the five people you meet in heaven is an interesting concept. I don't know how Bibically or realistically sound it is (of course I don't since I haven't arrived in heaven yet), but it does get one thinking about the influences they have on others and have had on their life. Talking with a friend who read it after I mentioned it to him (how many times has this happened?), he asked if I thought whoMr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1083358966443209352004-04-30T14:02:00.000-07:002004-04-30T14:05:54.000-07:00How about referring to a student's mom as "Your man of a mother"?Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1082481989321179022004-04-20T10:26:00.000-07:002004-04-20T10:33:13.796-07:00Open letter day
To the parking cashier...really? The sun was going to come through? For a night game? Seriously now. Also, take the walkie-talkie out of your windbreaker jacket pocket so that it doesn't swing and bang against my car door when you approach me for the outrageous amount of money to park in a spot where the guy next to me is going to empty is 12 pack of Coors Light through his man Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1082051866044852582004-04-15T10:57:00.000-07:002004-04-15T11:00:37.653-07:00Some words/names that sound bad/nasty, but aren't:
Bangkok
Pacific Rim
Goolash
Anything with "penal" in it
Asinine
Falacious
Rectitude
Titilate
Wormhole
Wormwood
Sussex
Pi
Vasco da Gama
Djibouti
Dr. Harry Wong
Gaylord Focker
Dick Brace
Big O
Climax
Longfellow
Please feel free to send suggestions.
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1081880190397976182004-04-13T11:16:00.000-07:002004-04-15T11:01:21.390-07:00Random thoughts during the 75 minutes I have while students are taking the standardized testing...
1. I love teaching.
2. Why do many people choose to celebrate the resurrection of a Jewish man by eating pork?
3. OOPS! That one slipped out. I wonder if they'll be able to smell it.
4. Does Hansen REALLY think I sent those things already?
5. Should I really give a two day poetry test during the Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1080361825343612142004-03-26T20:30:00.000-08:002004-03-26T20:32:57.700-08:00Frickin town I love to live in. We can have two Targets. We can have three Longs Drugs...all on the SAME street...all within 1.1 mile of each other. Should have figured that the shitty movie theater wouldn't play anything good. Its called the CineDome...I call it the CineDump. Stupid fuckin theater.Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1080185987518156992004-03-24T19:39:00.000-08:002004-03-24T19:42:17.686-08:00Before yesterday it had been 12 years and 3 months since I had snow skiied. In that time a lot has changed...I'm older (my best estimate is that I am 12 years and 3 months older, but I'm not exactly a "math person"), I'm married (not that I think my lack of skiing has anything to do with Suzanne), I'm a father three times over (not that I think my lack of skiing has everything to do with the Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1079288819987756062004-03-14T10:26:00.000-08:002004-03-14T10:29:20.106-08:00Pepsi is giving away one free download from iTunes.
What song should one download if a winning cap is purchased?Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1079197873219322472004-03-13T09:11:00.000-08:002004-03-14T10:28:07.500-08:00"Offers" (read "SPAM"):
Avon Free Shipping, Big Discounts
IMatchmakers Wanna meet that special someone?
Offers-2004 We are giving away Ipods. Really No Cost.
Secret Admirer View singles in YOUR area
Lorrie Miranda A New Concept of MLM, The Media Builds Your Biz!!
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1078439934939816382004-03-04T14:38:00.000-08:002004-03-04T14:41:57.483-08:00Undoubtedly the best movie of the year?
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1078243265535245342004-03-02T08:01:00.000-08:002004-03-02T08:03:13.796-08:00tuesdays with Morrie
VeronicaMr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1077463042647257712004-02-22T07:17:00.000-08:002004-02-22T07:20:38.670-08:00Maybe you have seen that BestBuy commercial with the guys standing in front of the TV watching and then its switched over to HDTV and one guy faints and falls over...its a true story. I think, just by chance, they were filming live when it happened.
I was at BestBuy last night and stood in front of the TV, mesmorized at the picture quality. A quick call home to Suzanne to say that we were Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1076633185533024302004-02-12T16:46:00.000-08:002004-02-12T16:50:41.340-08:00When I sign the new "Scantron Attendance Report Form" every two weeks I become either a professional baseball player, famous musician, or best selling author.
I love the part of me that lives inside my head. Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1076419881969091742004-02-10T05:31:00.000-08:002004-02-10T05:34:43.436-08:0034 now. I usually don't Hansen-ize about age, but my wife put it into somewhat of a perspective yesterday. I have a student who shares the same birthday as me. She also happens to live right across the street from the school. Great kid... A-student, musically talented, dad owns a custom Harley shop in town (she has two Harleys herself), mature, polite, and a great sense of humor. She turned 14 Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1076094522690285822004-02-06T11:08:00.000-08:002004-02-06T11:10:25.873-08:00Hot dog! I have some material to blog about now.Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1076018538267296872004-02-05T14:02:00.000-08:002004-02-05T14:04:00.670-08:00There are few women who can pull off the lycra look. Of course, there are multiudes of more who THINK they can. Although I am starting to believe that there are many who can't and don't try to, but are SO big that ANYTHING looks and fits like lycra on them.
__________
Why isn't there a soap opera about middle schoolers?
__________
How many wrong things have been done, not out of malicious Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1075338877426224292004-01-28T17:14:00.000-08:002004-01-28T17:32:38.623-08:00Hey, it IS you I'm looking at...
"Genius is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration."
-Thomas Alva Edison
Let me take the time to thank you for the 1% from January 25, 2004. Just a few questions to think about...and maybe I am guilty of not thinking before reacting (like that's an attribute I am familiar with).
Let's say it's 3:00 AM. You have already Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1074805851972508282004-01-22T13:10:00.000-08:002004-01-22T13:14:07.543-08:00The entries on here lately have taken a turn to making me look a little self-centered and/or that I may have a little too much free time on my hands. If that is the case with you...GOOD! I am finally getting through to some of you. There are those who always knew both of these facts, but now you have it in a published form.
Sunday is usually the shave day for the face and the head. It usually Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1074624310807473002004-01-20T10:45:00.000-08:002004-01-20T11:11:22.576-08:00Robot
T-Shirt Any color, size L
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1074440250113682852004-01-18T07:37:00.000-08:002004-01-18T07:38:53.810-08:00Always willing to help others out...especially if it can come back to helping me out:
Notebook AC Adapter
Downtown Brown Building White T-Shirt (size L)
Home Theatre System (black)
Denver Flight
Squeeze Box Set
Lion King Tickets (total of 4 for a weekend showing)
BriteSmile
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1074200246960822232004-01-15T12:57:00.000-08:002004-01-15T13:11:07.686-08:00Mas...
Banjo (any 4-string)
Black wool jacket (size M)
Clarks Passage in Brown Aviator (size 10M)
Padres Sweatshirt (size M)
DirecTv w/ DVR
Almosy ANY peanut butter - chocolate dessert
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1074027308739085052004-01-13T12:55:00.000-08:002004-01-13T12:56:27.530-08:00Here's more:
Almost anything not included on the listMr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1073965345295379392004-01-12T19:42:00.000-08:002004-01-12T21:15:39.483-08:00The list goes on as I exercise my right to update:
Propecia one year supply
2 Logitech PS2 Wireless Controllers
A fashionable man-blouse
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1073879655712648922004-01-11T19:54:00.000-08:002004-01-11T20:52:47.826-08:00A few birthday suggestions for those who care:
Siberian Husky Puppy
BMW 645Ci
San Diego Padres Authentic 2004 Road Fitted Cap
iPod
Digital Camcorder
Plasma TV
Port
Black Pants 34W x 28L
context=home&type=promo1_img">Jeep Wrangler Unlimted
ESPN Golf School
TiVo
I reserve the right to update and add to the list.Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1072653982449701792003-12-28T15:26:00.000-08:002003-12-28T15:27:25.860-08:00Addie wishes we were Jewish. I told her to wish for it next Christmas.Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1072396212815205352003-12-25T15:50:00.000-08:002003-12-25T15:54:47.360-08:00Merry Christmas
_____________
I had the bread with the brie in the oven on 350 for 20 minutes before I thought maybe I was supposed to either split the floured top or scrap the flour off. I called Suzanne and asked if I should keep it in longer. She said to turn the heat up on the oven. I then asked if that was better then keeping it in for longer. Ever have one of those times when as soon as Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1072188573836739412003-12-23T06:09:00.000-08:002003-12-23T06:10:46.606-08:00Atkins has worked wonders for me in losing weight. It also makes getting drunk a MUCH shorter trip.
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1071780032841226402003-12-18T12:40:00.000-08:002003-12-18T12:43:14.450-08:00Teacher: Enrique, come here please.
Enrique: Who me?
Teacher: Yes you. You're the ONLY Enrique in the class.
Enrique: Up there?
Teacher: Yes, up here. On second thought, you stay there. I will come to you. I don't want you to stand up and have your brain fall out of your ass.
________
Can tomorrow get here quick enough?
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1071529770794306652003-12-15T15:09:00.000-08:002003-12-15T15:10:21.593-08:00Having gas is not best the day after having crab for dinner.Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1071381953737212792003-12-13T22:03:00.000-08:002003-12-14T06:21:38.263-08:00How come "You ARE the man" feels so different than "You are such A man"? Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1071262239752792992003-12-12T12:50:00.000-08:002003-12-12T13:54:42.076-08:00How about having a kid in class so stupid that the only possible job you can foresee for him is to work at a vet's office licking those dogs that cannot lick themselves? Props to Rocco on this one.
___________
I hate teaching 8th grade...mostly because of the amount of letters of recommendation I am asked to write. Not being a writing person like many of college friends were (and are), I do not Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1071182186762869962003-12-11T14:36:00.000-08:002003-12-11T14:37:13.340-08:00Tuesday I made the 45 minute drive to drop off what I sort of hope will be my last "sample" for the urologist. I go inside and set the brown paper bag, with the formerly sterile cup inside it, on the counter. I look at the receptionist and happen to notice she is pregnant.
I couldn't help but wonder what they REALLY do with all of the "samples" they get in that office. Does the doctor really Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1070942678040115832003-12-08T20:04:00.000-08:002003-12-08T20:08:01.233-08:00Advertising works on me. Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1069796106733442512003-11-25T13:35:00.000-08:002003-11-25T13:35:37.483-08:00I love a rainy night.
I love those belly-emptying burps that hurt.
I love s'mores with semi-stale graham crackers.
I love pretending I am going to throw scissors to someone.
I love putting on my new jeans with a waist size of 33.
I love falling asleep with the TV on.
I love my cell phone receiving a call when its in my pocket.
I love wearing a dress while going commando.
I love writing with Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1069213925417238772003-11-18T19:52:00.000-08:002003-11-18T19:56:30.686-08:00So we're at Disneyland and its somewhat crowded. Suzanne looks over and sees the "handicapped" line is pretty long. She, being the sensitive person she is, comments, "Well, today wouldn't be a good day to be handicapped." Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1066011931656378662003-10-12T19:25:00.000-07:002003-10-12T19:27:00.140-07:00Suz and I are flipping through the channels the other night and happen to pause for a bit at "The Bachelor". We don't usually watch it, but we did for awhile that night. My comment to Suz is that they need a new show called "The Bastard". The premis is the same, but they get a fatherless kid and line up a bunch of fathers for that kid to choose from. Whaddayathink?
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-1064977059239439852003-09-30T19:57:00.000-07:002003-09-30T20:00:12.340-07:00My life with a house full of girls...
Live sperm count dwindling.
Correctly calling the color of a female's outfit fuschia.
Stating that a "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" was actually touching.
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-943047252003-05-13T20:02:00.000-07:002003-05-17T08:05:41.000-07:00http://www.tennisnaked.com/
"We're here to post tournaments, sell a few t-shirts and post photos of your tournament winners.
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-939658962003-05-07T19:49:00.000-07:002003-05-07T19:49:49.913-07:00The question, "What does my child need in order to pass 7th grade?"
My thought, "To find a tin man and cowardly lion and follow the yellow brick road."Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-939090582003-05-06T21:54:00.000-07:002003-05-06T21:54:36.843-07:00Things I would LOVE to say in a parent conference...
"One day your sphincter muscle will be strong enough to push your head out."Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-934873902003-04-29T13:50:00.000-07:002003-04-29T14:15:14.000-07:00Is "the way a lime is put in a Corona bottle" an euphemism for something?
Did I use "an" correctly?Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-924382592003-04-11T10:07:00.000-07:002003-04-11T10:07:11.233-07:00The template for this page, including the pictures, is titled "Juicy". There is a picture of an avocado. And the title is "Juicy". Ever had avocado juice? If an avocado is juicy, it's bad.
Have you seen those stupid-ass commercials for Carls Jr.'s guacamole burger? One has a guy with a rock hard avocado (read more about this later) in a blender. Dumbass! Another has a guy with water and an Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-919171042003-04-03T07:10:00.000-08:002003-04-03T07:10:20.653-08:00It's happened. I have hit that point where I realize that my dad is old. Today is LINDIE'S birthday. I check my e mail this morning and there is a message from him and the subject is ADDIE. I open the e mail and here is the message...
Happy birthday to Addie.
Happy birthday to Addie.
Happy birthday, dear Addie.
Happy birthday to you!!!
Read a Robert Goulet/Frank Sinatra voice into this rendition.Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-907680382003-03-15T09:27:00.000-08:002003-03-15T09:27:33.186-08:00What's it mean when the urologist's receptionist knows you by first and last name?Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-901576002003-03-04T20:52:00.000-08:002003-03-04T21:09:01.000-08:0010/22/02 - vasectomy
12/31/02 - sample 1 (still live)
2/11/03 - sample 2 (still live and "there are a lot" - Dr. Wooley)
So I took another trip to the cock doc today so he can see if:
a) they grew back,
b) something else was cut, or
c) there was a third (this possibility spooks me the most).
I teared up today. It hurt worse than the actual procedure. First of all, I think he was in a hurry withMr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-890997912003-02-14T09:08:00.000-08:002003-02-14T09:08:52.160-08:00http://www.heyhansen.com/
Check out the entry for 02.03.03
This is coming from the guy, who in college while driving MY car, said that whoever put up some road sign didn't really mean it.Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-885546452003-02-04T14:47:00.000-08:002003-02-04T14:58:16.000-08:00Will and Grace is a funny show.
It's one of those shows that makes me constantly ask, "Can they REALLY do/say that on TV?"
So we are watching it the other night and Jack and Will (gay men) have been asked to help Karen's cousin to "come out".
I forget the cousin's name, but he is disgusting looking.
They baby him along and he starts to show signs of being gay (i.e. fashion over comfort and Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-880079782003-01-25T08:04:00.000-08:002003-01-25T08:04:29.760-08:00The Padres have sold the naming rights of their new stadium to Petco.
I have been a lifelong Padre fan. Throughout the brown, yellow, and orange uniform years. Even when they traded Ozzie Smith and let Dave Winfield go. Even when they had Jack Clark and Eric Show. Even when there was talk of not resigning Tony Gwynn (although that might have been the end of it). Through the losing seasons. Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-876067712003-01-17T12:40:00.000-08:002003-01-25T08:26:05.000-08:00Two games I have heard about from students while being a middle school teacher:
1. Mike or Marv This game is a two-player game and is played by giving one person a choice of "Mike" or "Marv". If the person chooses "Mike", the one giving the choice bites the chooser on the ear (as Mike Tyson did to Evander Holyfield). If the choice of "Marv" is made, the chooser gets bit on the ass (as Marv Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-869679212003-01-05T10:19:00.000-08:002003-01-05T10:19:05.703-08:00Suzanne's motto: "If you have to be stuck with something, it should at least be small."
Of course she was referring to white elephant Christmas gifts, but a man of my "stature" will take it to mean something else.Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-867578852002-12-31T11:07:00.000-08:002002-12-31T11:07:29.676-08:00Sent a sample to the doctor today.
Think I could get some help from my Puritanical wife?Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-862979732002-12-19T18:11:00.000-08:002002-12-31T11:06:41.000-08:00Today is my 10 year anniversary.
Ten years.
10 years.
X years.
1992 - 2002.
The only other thing I have done for 10 straight years is breathe. And eat.
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-861878772002-12-17T14:53:00.000-08:002002-12-17T14:53:35.893-08:00Addie is in kindergarten now. She is in the computer lab with her class, some sixth graders, and the sixth grade teacher. The computer lab teacher has the kids count to ten on their fingers and asks, "What do we do if we want to go past ten, but have used all our fingers?" Addie raises her hand, gets called on, leans back in her chair lifting her foot between her hands, and says, "This."
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-858460562002-12-11T09:20:00.000-08:002002-12-11T09:20:23.200-08:00On the A&E (Arts & Entertainment) channel last night was a show called Cleavage. I watched it.
Of course, Suzanne had already gone to bed...without even waiting for what I term "our show" (that is a whole other blog in and of itself).
Anyways, back to Cleavage. It was a great show. The concept of the show was a "history" (and I am a history major) about cleavage and the "devices" (for lack of a Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-853902842002-12-02T11:36:00.000-08:002002-12-02T11:36:02.883-08:00Thanksgiving is the bastard child of all the holidays.
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-850575692002-11-25T07:39:00.000-08:002002-11-25T08:04:31.000-08:00I have a new blog, but 2/3 of my readers were there when it happened. And it didn't even come to my mind as a blog. I had to be prompted. Therefore, this will serve as my blog. Sorry Hansen.
______________
Sporty Spice. Baby Spice. Scary Spice. Posh Spice. And Ginger Spice.Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-842437982002-11-08T11:26:00.000-08:002002-11-08T11:35:02.000-08:00How about trying to convince 7th graders that they are not in control of their lives.
Those who get it and understand...what a cool experience as a teacher.
Those who don't...I hand them a 60 minute detention which proves them wrong. What an equally cool experience as a teacher.Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-841908212002-11-07T13:42:00.000-08:002002-11-07T13:44:44.000-08:00I get an ad in my e mail spam section for ZEROADS with promises such as the following:
"Stop popup ads!"
"Never see another popup again!"
"Surf the net on your own terms"
"Much more than a popup ad blocker"
So I decide to go to the webpage and check it out. Guess what you get when you try to close the page...
guess I could have figured out what they meant by "Much more than a popup ad blocker"
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-841001092002-11-05T21:01:00.000-08:002002-11-05T21:01:44.313-08:00Dick Spotswood
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-839274102002-11-02T11:04:00.000-08:002002-11-02T11:04:53.800-08:00Jackass: The Movie.
WOW!
WHOA!
OWWWWWWWW!
EWWWWW!
Money well spent? Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-833586322002-10-22T10:06:00.000-07:002002-11-02T10:58:02.000-08:00What is that makes a male medical student want to practice urology?
Just a thought 5 hours and 55 minutes before my nut cut.
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-831541612002-10-17T21:56:00.000-07:002002-10-17T21:56:48.006-07:00The head speaks, but the groin has no ears.
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-827401862002-10-09T07:21:00.000-07:002002-10-09T20:27:10.000-07:00Here is s short list of things, in my opinion, that MUST be purchased when they are new:
hot tub
toothbrush
meat
underwear
contraceptives
hot tub
milk
deodorant
produce
diapers
popsicles
hot tub
tickets to Giants' playoff game
hot tub
Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-820698832002-09-24T17:46:00.000-07:002002-10-03T14:38:56.000-07:00"Big knobs are easy to grab."
From the Honda Element site.
Believe me JT, the picture was not as exciting as the statement.Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-818522952002-09-19T19:45:00.000-07:002002-10-03T14:39:03.000-07:00Vaginally. Mr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-813874552002-09-09T20:19:00.000-07:002002-09-09T20:19:57.600-07:00www.wafcfootball.comMr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3204980.post-806181952002-08-23T09:09:00.000-07:002002-08-24T05:55:37.000-07:00I can't think of ANYTHING to say about this...
except maybe, "SHUT UP HANSEN!"
yeah, screaming little kittens that want mamma's milk
all the time.
okay, typical "stay at home" day:
wake up 5:30am.
hold one while rachel feeds the other, then swap.
6am, nursing complete.
change diaper X 2 (sometimes a shitty mess and
requires me throwing a piece of clothing in the
garbage and throwing them in theMr. Clemnoreply@blogger.com0